Hello
What should be the first words of a new blog? I've been planning them for what seems like weeks. Especially first words for a third brand new blog? I pondered looking at my previous two blogs to see how they began, but then decided that was a pointless exercise and I would start with a clean page.
And why a new blog - wasn't the old one working? Well yes it was whatever that might mean - but I have moved on from it now and it has lost its imperative for me. It's an old cliche to say that that chapter in my life is now closed. But sometimes cliches have their place. If my life were a book, this would definitely be the start of volume three. My last blog was called A Life in Theatre - Towards the Simple and the Sacred. I am not sure about sacred but it has moved further towards the simple thankfully. And theatre has come to mean something new to me. I'd like to share some of that.
A dear friend asked me - 'But who gives a damn what you think? and why do you need to write it?' - I like the candour of a reliable friend to ask the awkward questions. And I've thought about it and frankly have no reasonable answer. Grateful for it though I am I'm not sure I even care about the question. I reckon people can make up their own minds as to whether they want to read something or not, and my justification is simply the pleasure of writing and a deep desire to do so. It's the delight in observing life, watching others and finding the joy and fun in things. To boot I have always been a diary writer, since my first little green Letts Brownie diary in 1968.
The thing is that after three years of living as a 'middle-aged wandering hobo' as my daughter aptly named me, I have finally dropped anchor and that feels significant. Living as an itinerant sofa-surfing woman-of-a-certain age has been bracing to say the least, and at times more of a challenge for me than climbing Mount Everest (if I would now be allowed!). And it's a story too for people of my age maybe, women in particular, that when all falls apart in your life it is possible to pick yourself up and start again.
It's called a Letter from an East Bank Boathouse because well......it's a letter and it's from a Boathouse in East London. It will be an eclectic mix of bits of my personal and artistic story woven in with the life that shows up every day at our new and emerging arts venue jewelled alongside the River Roding in Barking, some of which is simply wonderful material. And its a story of transformation too.
My last blog was an urgent daily missive, proof to myself that I was still alive, still an artist - in the midst of the total dissolving of my once lived life. But more about that as it emerges. It's taken three years to still the inner turmoil and to learn to be grateful for the lessons it's taught me - it's an ongoing process.
Of course there will be no end, there isn't an ultimate destination, (well apart from the obvious). Amongst many, I have two very dear friends in particular who have travelled in convoy with me through these times and what I have learned most from both of them in different ways is about living in the present moment. I mean not just as some spiritual mantra - but really really being in the moment. It's useful when you are travelling around with a bag from place to place, unsure of where you might sleep that night. In his homage poem to the Japanese painter- Hokusai Says the poet Roger Keyes writes 'Let life live through you', and I do now for the most part. We theatre-makers make an art of improvisation - or the 'yes....and' of communication as I like to think of it. But it's simply a reflection of how life really is whilst we all go round in an attempt to control things. It means surrendering to what shows up, remaining child-like and curious and letting go of fear. (All easily said of course - takes a bit of getting the hang of, and not always achieved, certainly by me.)
Anyway enough of all that. This blog will be a more gentle drift down the river at no more than 5mph as is the rule of the canal. I have no idea where it will take me, but I trust it will be somewhere curious. This will be a weekly blog rather than a daily one and probably written on a Friday, which is now my writing day (well actually today it's my cafe-serving day as my esteemed Baker Denise is ill). I may of course be writing with no-one reading as I have probably lost all my old regulars. But that's ok too. What is... is. Simply.
That's it then and hello. Lets see where this one takes us.
Carole
Ps thanks to professional photographer Shamack for permission to use his beautiful photo of the River Roding - view from the Boathouse Terrace.
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